In the popular Reddit forum, “Am I The Ahole,” Redditor u/TAbabyblabbermouth that the secretary happens to be a family friend. “WIBTA [would I be the ahole] if I reported a family friend who outed my pregnancy to her place of work?” she asked. The post has received 17,000 votes and more than 2,300 comments.
“I (20F) recently found out that I’m pregnant, which came as a surprise because I’m on [birth control],” the woman said at the beginning of her post. “I made an appointment with an OB that’s close to me with high ratings to confirm the pregnancy, and when I walked in I was immediately concerned because the woman behind the desk is a friend of my mom’s.
“I didn’t feel ready to tell anyone other than my [boyfriend] and obviously dr about the baby, so I was freaking out a little, but my [boyfriend] assured me that she wouldn’t be able to say anything to my mom about the baby without my consent,” she continued.
Her fears were validated, however, when she arrived home to find her mother waiting for her.
“Apparently her friend had texted to congratulate her before I could even make it home,” the woman said.
Though her mother took the news well, the woman was angry that the secretary violated her privacy and said that she wanted to report the secretary to the obstetrician. However, both her boyfriend and her mother felt that reporting the secretary would be a tad extreme.
“My bf agrees with me but thinks it’s kinda Karen-ish, on the other hand my mom thinks her friend crossed a few lines, but to report her and potentially put her employment at risk would be petty and an a**hole move,” she explained.
Despite their input, the woman explained that she would report the secretary, who she described as “potentially dangerous.”
“My family is supportive of the baby, but if she had opened her big mouth to someone with a different kind of family, the outcome could have been really bad,” she said.
Many commenters were quick to point out that the secretary violated the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) by sharing the news of the woman’s pregnancy with the woman’s mother.
It is important to note that healthcare professionals can share a patient’s “health status, treatment, or payment arrangements” with the patient’s family members, so long as the patient has given consent, or if healthcare professionals can “reasonably infer, based on professional judgment, that the patient does not object,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).
Providers can also share information in cases of emergency.
Of course, the woman made it clear that she did not give the secretary her consent to share her pregnancy status with her mother. With that in mind, commenters told the woman that she wasn’t wrong to follow through with the report.
“NTA [not the a**hole]. Report her, please. What she did is a huge violation of HIPAA laws. At the very least, she robbed you of being able to share the news of your pregnancy in your own way and time. … If she did it once, you can be sure she’s done it before and will continue to do it in the future. Her employer needs to be told at the very least,” said u/devphilvxfdasdqa.
“NTA. Report her. The thought of someone like that having access to my private medical information makes me sick to my stomach. Do it for yourself and for all the other patients who could be hurt by her carelessness,” added u/hllamvcxgfzdf.
“Omg I would be LIVID. What if you weren’t planning to keep it? What if you maybe, I dunno, wanted to share your own news with your own mother in your own special way??? ABSOLUTELY REPORT HER. NTA,” commented u/attabe123.
