The man, u/Nonamethrowaway6745, shared his story in Reddit’s “True Off My Chest” forum, which has amassed over 17,000 upvotes and hundreds of supportive comments. You can read the full post here.
In his post, the man said his spouse filed for divorce shortly after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
“He said it would be ’too much’ to take care of me,” u/Nonamethrowaway6745 wrote.
However, u/Nonamethrowaway6745, who lives in Canada, said couples must be separated for a year before a divorce can be granted. So, his husband moved out, and u/Nonamethrowaway6745 faced his cancer alone.
“Since he left I’ve had surgery and chemotherapy and my latest checkup shows no evidence of disease,” u/Nonamethrowaway6745 wrote.
After hearing that he was cancer-free, his husband applied to withdraw their divorce application, but u/Nonamethrowaway6745 blocked the petition.
“He told me we can stay married since I’m no longer sick…[but] I don’t want to be married to him after what he did,” he concluded.
Cancer and Divorce
Sadly, u/Nonamethrowaway6745’s marriage isn’t the first to be negatively affected by a cancer diagnosis.
According to Cancer.net, an online cancer resource center powered by the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO), “most couples experience changes in the relationship when one person has cancer,” including changes in responsibilities, sexual health, and intimacy. While these changes may strengthen some relationships, they can also “weaken” others, particularly heterosexual marriages in which the woman is the patient.
A 2009 study conducted by neuro-oncologists Marc Chamberlain of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle and Michael Glanz of the University of Utah School of Medicine found that the divorce rate among married couples with “serious cases of cancer or multiple sclerosis” was 11.6 percent—about the same as the general population. However, when marriages did end, “the patient was six times more likely to be a woman than a man.”
“There are heaps of data that women are more likely to take on the role of caregiver than men,” said Deborah Carr, a sociologist at Rutgers University. “Women see it as part of the bargain they signed on for. Men don’t anticipate this happening, and it changes the marriage for them.”
The study did not look at how gay couples might fare under the “pressure of caring for someone with a critical illness,” Newsweek reported.
Redditors React
Redditors applauded u/Nonamethrowaway6745 for following through with the divorce, but slammed his husband for filing in the first place.
“You beat cancer and the trash took itself out. Congratulations! I hope life treats you so much better in the following days,” u/Iwuzthrownaway said.
“Wow what an a**hole! He showed you who he was when he left you when you got sick. So glad you see that and are moving on,” u/AA_1212 wrote, adding: “Congrats on beating cancer!”
u/tahtahme added: “Men leave sick partners at a WAAAAAY higher rate than women do, sadly for those of us who love and marry them it’s just a gamble we take. I’m really proud of you for standing tall and keeping the trash out.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/Nonamethrowaway6745 for comment.
Other Viral Posts
On Friday, Redditors slammed a man who compared his wife’s postpartum body with another woman’s “slimmer” body. Also on Friday, commenters backed a woman for divorcing her husband after he drunkenly called her “repulsive.”
