Reddit user u/theantwonder1 wrote in his post, which received more than 14,000 votes, that his fiancée “Erica” moved into his house after they became engaged. He said they plan to put her name on the house when they get married.
“Her friend Leah and her have been best friends since high school,” the Redditor wrote. “I don’t particularly like Leah but have also been cordial as I know she’s gonna be in my life. My issue is Leah thinks of my house as hers.”
He explained that Leah speaks to him disrespectfully and treats him like he is a guest in his own home. Redditor u/theantwonder1 also claimed that he noticed some of his tools were missing from his garage. When he checked his security cameras, he discovered Leah and her boyfriend were in the garage with Erica, and they took them. Erica assured him they were borrowing the tools and would return them, but the Redditor wrote he reached out several times before they were returned.
The Redditor told Erica he wasn’t comfortable with Leah being in his house after he found her trying to take a bottle of wine from his bar. Leah told the Redditor that Erica said it would be OK to take the bottle of wine, but Erica said she couldn’t remember whether she had that conversation with Leah.
“Final straw came when I wanted to go hit some golf balls and my clubs were missing,” u/theantwonder1 wrote. “I freaked out because I golf regularly and my clubs are my biggest investment.”
Upon checking his security footage, the Redditor saw that Leah used the garage code to take the clubs. He called Erica, who said that Leah told her she was taking some clothes from her closet, not his clubs.
“I threatened to call the police but Erica stopped me,” u/theantwonder1 wrote. “Leah kept telling us that her boyfriend needed them for a work thing.”
Four days later, the Redditor got his clubs back, but they were dirty. He told Erica that Leah was not welcome in his house and if she returned, he would call the police. However, his fiancée became upset and said it wouldn’t be “fair.”
“I said it’s a pattern and since Erica’s stuff isn’t affected she doesn’t care,” the Redditor wrote.
Although he suggested that she go over to Leah’s apartment instead, Erica told him Leah doesn’t like her apartment. She also said Leah’s boyfriend is constantly at the apartment, which makes Erica uncomfortable.
“I’m now getting the silent treatment and getting called an [a**hole] but I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong,” u/theantwonder1 wrote.
If someone finds themselves in a situation where their partner does not like their friend, there are some things they should consider.
A piece published by Brides Magazine pointed out that if the partner is not trying to be controlling, the individual should try to see things from their partner’s perspective. There should also be boundaries for spending time together.
“Talk to your partner and try to work out how they can make your life easier, without them feeling uncomfortable,” the article stated. “You should be able to find some middle ground.”
Although u/theantwonder1 stated his problems were with Leah, most commenters insinuated that his fiancée is allowing many of the issues to continue. Some cautioned the Redditor against moving forward into marriage.
“Do not put this woman on the deed to your home. Heck, don’t marry her,” one commenter wrote. “You don’t have a Leah problem, you have a fiancé problem. Time to move on, buddy.”
Other commenters agreed with the sentiment, and one of the readers stated there were many boundary issues that are red flags.
Another suggested that Erica actually gave Leah permission to take the Redditor’s belongings in addition to the garage code.
“She has no respect for you, your things or your house,” a commenter wrote. “The things the friend takes are going to escalate to more and more expensive items.”
