In a post shared on Reddit’s Am I Being The A****** (AITA) subforum, user ExplanationFun2337 said his parents-in-law are staying at his house due to repairs being done at their own home. The father-in-law works late shifts until around 11 p.m., while his mother-in-law doesn’t have a job.

“When he gets home they [parents-in-law] will watch YouTube in the living room and play music on it at a loud volume with our speaker system, it’s not ‘college house party bass tearing apart the walls’ loud but it is still loud…I’ve gotten really fed up with this. It’s not my in-laws’ house and they’re staying with us as guests and I think they’re being really selfish,” the user said.

The user said his kids are not light sleepers and the television noise wakes them up, while his wife works overnight shifts and doesn’t witness what happens.

“I decided to put parental controls on the TV so that my in-laws can’t use it after 8:30 pm until 6 am the next day,” the user said.

A June 2021 study published in the peer-reviewed Frontiers in Sociology said: “The main issues in conflict among marital relatives are different and diverse: fidelity and paternity, divorce and autonomy, and inclinations to invest in distinct natal kindreds. These conflicts can get ugly, even lethal.”

Citing previous research, the study stated: “In-laws and their ‘meddling’ rank high among the sources of conflict in contemporary marriages, often higher than such potential flashpoints as financial issues or mismatched values.”

The user from the latest Reddit post said he asked his parents-in-law to “please keep the noise down after my kids’ bedtime which is 8:30 pm. I don’t expect complete silence but I really don’t think they need to have the TV on loud late at night.”

The man’s father-in-law allegedly “argued” with him, saying the son-in-law is “basically expecting him to not do the things he enjoys after work. I told him he can do it before work or on his days off or it’s tough s***.”

The user said his father-in-law “complained to my wife who’s now taking his side and saying that the kids need to learn how to sleep through ‘a bit of everyday noise.’”

The user told his wife “it’s not everyday noise and that he (father-in-law) and MIL [mother-in-law] are being excessively noisy and inconsiderate, she’s just not there to see it. My FIL [father-in-law] has been sending me links to buy earplugs for the kids.”

Ruth E. Freeman, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and the founder and president of parental resource hub Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, spoke to Newsweek and praised the man for figuring out “a respectful way to make firm boundaries with his in-laws and protect his own and, most importantly, his children’s well-being…he is doing a great job carrying out his responsibilities as a dad…”

The expert said the in-laws are guests and they need to respect the son-in-law’s preferences. “Hopefully mom [the Redditor’s wife] can come to recognize that the needs of her husband and children in this case should come before her parents’ preferences. Sleep is essential, TV entertainment is not.”

Fereshta Ramsey, a relationship educator at coaching company The Relationship School, told Newsweek: “His ask, for a lowered volume on the TV late at night, sounds reasonable…I would be curious as to why the father-in-law is having this strong of a reaction. Is he feeling out of control? Is he frustrated to not be in his own house? Does he have hearing problems he’s embarrassed about? What is he protecting by getting so defensive?…”

The father-in-law could lower the volume to “show care for his grandchildren and son-in-law,” she said, while equally the man and the kids could also “wear earplugs for whatever noise still comes through, knowing the situation is temporary…”

Ramsey added: “I also imagine the poster isn’t feeling seen and validated by his wife, who is sadly taking sides with her father when she could be a supportive teammate instead.”

Teresa Lodato, a certified professional co-active coach (CPCC), agreed that both the husband and the in-laws are being rigid in their perspective, and it would behoove the daughter to get involved and mediate. She said it would also be best for the husband and wife to get on the same page and support one another as it is their house, and the parents are guests.

The coach also suggested the husband do a “noise level reading” after the children go to bed, and another when the in-laws watch television with the speakers on and off. “This will provide evidence of noise levels so the wife is better informed and can have a discussion with her parents.”

Lodato added: “I think it is also appropriate for the wife to set a boundary with her parents that if they don’t accept any of her solutions and can’t come up with any of their own (that don’t cause husband and children to wear earplugs) they will have the choice to either not watch TV or move to a hotel until their house is ready.”

In a comment that got 30,900 upvotes, user fireflyflies80 said the user is “NTA [not the a******]. Your in-laws are rude and inconsiderate, and your wife should be managing them and backing you up in this. Had she done so, you would not need to take such drastic measures. Both you and the kids need your sleep. The in-laws are guests in your home. This is wildly inappropriate for them to act this way. If they don’t like the house rules, they can go to a motel.”

In a comment that got 13,500 upvotes, user SpunkyRadcat said: “I wonder if FIL/MIL steamrolled wife so much growing up that she has a hard time setting boundaries with them. You are correct either way…the ILs [in-laws] are obviously in the wrong.”

In a comment that got 4,600 upvotes, user You-Done wrote that “the entitlement and inconsiderate behavior of PIL [parents-in-law] are outrageous,” noting the father-in-law’s act of sending the man links to earplugs “would’ve been the last straw for me to kick them out I believe. Make kids sleep with earplugs in THEIR HOME because PIL need to be selfish? Send back a link to a pair of ANC headphones, followed by one with a list of nearby hotels.”

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.

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