“I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I’m going to be logging off for a while. But the good news is also that I’ll be logging off for a while. ” Normally, your good news and your bad news would be different. By making them the exact same thing, you’re surprising your audience with something they didn’t expect. “A man, a horse, and a scarecrow walk into a bar. They all say, ‘Ouch!’” Typically, jokes like these end with the characters interacting within a bar or restaurant. By taking the word “bar” and using the other definition (a long rod or a piece of wood), you’re flipping the script and surprising your audience.
“The sun is out today. I’ve never been so hot in my life. If I take one step outside, my feet are going to melt off. I say we abolish the sun. ” “I’ve been on hold for 30 whole seconds. If I pass away, please tell my family that I love them. ”
“What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending. ” “The duck said to the bartender, ‘Put it on my bill. ’”
Gifs are fun, but stick to 1 gif per post. Using too many can be overwhelming, and they could detract instead of add to your post.
Tumblr user: “He’s as happy as a clam. ” You: “I’ve never seen a clam smile. He can’t be that happy. ”
Tumblr user: “So stressed out right now omg. I think we might have a pop quiz tomorrow. ” You: “Don’t let that pop quiz burst your bubble!”
Tumblr user: “I skipped the gym today. I’m such a failure. ” You: “Wow. All your strength is gone. Who’s going to sweep me off my feet now?” Tumblr user: “I just can’t stand Twilight. ” You: “Wow, a Twilight hater? We definitely can’t be friends now. ”
Tumblr user: “You’re just trying to butter me up. ” You: “I think I’m on a roll. ” “Roll” can mean both the bread (that you put butter on) or being on a roll (experiencing a lot of luck or success).
For instance, if you wrote a post about how cute your cat is, you might tag it with: #cat, #cutecat, #catpost, and #catpicture. If you post something about school, you could tag it with: #school, #highschool, #schoolproblems, or #student.
For instance, something like, “Whoa, what happened to your hair?” in response to someone’s new haircut might be meant as a playful tease, but online, it could just be seen as cruel. Instead, you could try something like, “Did you get a new haircut or just dye the ends invisible?” It’s a joke that will make people laugh, but it’s not rude or mean.
