If you’re having trouble getting started, this can be a great way to get something out of the way and explain why you’re writing, and what you want to say: “I’ve needed to say this for far too long and I couldn’t wait any longer to let you know exactly how I feel about you. "
An e-mail can be a great opportunity to explain how you’re feeling after a first date, or after a couple dates, if you’re the shy type. Talk about what you enjoyed about the date, and what you admire in the person. It can be about a very simple moment that really touched your heart, but you never told them about it. It doesn’t have to be serious and it’s best to keep it focused on something light. Instead of recounting how your heart fluttered so when you kissed your lover on the boardwalk at midnight, reminisce about how it rained on both of you just after, or how your dinner was a disaster, or how ridiculous your cab driver was.
Intro the letter with general details, a description of your day, or a funny story about your cat, then move into an idea about a thing you could do together in the future. Shoot someone a link to a play you want to check out, or the Yelp page of a restaurant that looks good. It’s an e-mail. Use the Internet to your advantage. E-mails aren’t always the best venue for deep thoughts and serious expressions of feelings. Save that for real conversations, and keep your lovey e-mails as practical as possible, sprinkled with real heart and charm.
What is your partner’s greatest strength? What do you see in them that they may not see? What is your best memory together? How has your relationship changed you for the better? What made you fall in love?
Your partner wants to know that their lover is living a real life and accomplishing goals and standing strong for them. How can they know you’re reliable if you are always down about their absence?
Good questions: What have you been up to? How was your weekend at the lake? I’ve been thinking lots about you since that night at the lake. Have you? Bad questions: Where were you last night? Who were hanging out with? Why didn’t you call me? Are you going to call me? I love you, do you love me?
Tell a goofy story about your pet, or something that happened at work. Write about yourself, and ask questions to your partner. The mundane can still be romantic if it comes from a place of sincerity. Share your life with someone. Easiest, best, and most effective thing to put into a love email: “I can’t stop thinking about you. "
“Today my roommate has been conducting experiments in the kitchen, taking prefabricated blocks of noodle stuffs and boiling them in a mixture of salt and tap water. The results are staggering, possibly bioterrorism, and he claims delicious. My senses tell me that you’re entirely too classy to come to my house and experience this ramen disaster, so I propose a date to the movies, to solve both our problems. "
Good rule of thumb: If you accidentally sent this e-email to your best friend instead of your lover, how embarrassing would it be? If the answer is “extremely,” make it a little less cheesy.
If the emailing takes a turn into more adult territory, it shouldn’t be right away, and it shouldn’t be one-sided. Let it build slowly, and let your partner make the first move, then follow suit. If you want to exchange racier e-mails, try starting extremely slowly, using innuendo and seeing if your partner picks up on the sexual tension. If not, drop it. Don’t start writing about how you couldn’t get the firm, supple cantaloupes at the store out of your mind all day, or you’ll come off like a weirdo.
Other good closings might include, “Lovingly” or “Always,” but it’s usually the simplest that gets the job done right. Good time to use the “L” word. Stilted closings should be avoided. No “Sincerely” or “All best. " You’re not writing to your boss. If you use a pet name with your partner, that’s totally cool. You can and should use it. If you don’t use one, though, don’t try to make it happen in e-mail. Awkward.
Of course, there’s no e-mail gestapo, and there’s no one way to write to your lover. If you both favor the well-placed emoji to the well-drawn metaphor, go for it. Write “luv u bae. " Still, try to make your e-mails easy to read, and spell out words whenever possible. Pay especially close attention to “your” and “you’re. " Mixing those up is a turn-off for some people.
Good tactic: If you can’t think of anything good, scan through the email and look for a funny bit of language that you can use to slap in the title window. It’ll seem charming, and funny when your partner gets to that patch of the letter.
What’s longish? It depends, but a good rule of thumb is to copy-paste your text into a word document and do a word count. If it’s longer than the last history paper you wrote, and you’re getting a short paragraph in reply, maybe start cutting them down a bit.
After you write a draft, it’s a good idea to let it sit for a while to, go do something else, and go back to it to read it with fresh eyes. Still feel the same way about those powerful emotions you dumped into the e-mail? See any typos? Always a good idea to let it sit before you dash it off.
