An obituary is a short announcement of your mother’s passing that appears in the newspaper, while an elegy is a poem or song of lament. A eulogy is a speech containing a tribute to your mother’s life, which may contain a brief story of your mother’s life. Make your eulogy tell your own story about your mother rather than cater to what everyone else is telling you to write.
Questions you could ask yourself to help you brainstorm include, What one quality of my mother do I remember most? Try asking yourself, What is something my mother always used to do to comfort me? Once you have your list, whittle it down to stories and memories that achieve the goal you have set for the eulogy.
Ask them questions like, What is your favorite memory of my mother? Another question could be, What life lessons did my mother teach you?
For example, instead of in order of occurrence, you could group your anecdotes by type: personal memories, others’ memories, her favorite things, her influence on your life, her influence on others’ lives, and concluding with how much she will be missed before giving the conclusion. You might also use poems or songs performed by other family members for the body. [3] X Research source
For example, you could open with, “Hello everyone, my name is Sam and I am Mary’s son. I am honored to be sharing her eulogy with you today. " You could end with, “Thank you for coming to honor my mother today. I know she would be so grateful. "
Focus on writing the way you speak. Simply reading a script to an audience can feel dry and ultra-formal, an effect you may want to avoid. Try writing your eulogy in a list format, leaving room for improvisation so that you are not constantly looking down at the paper.
Keep in mind that you will likely write several revisions before coming up with a copy that you are happy with. [5] X Research source Ask relatives and friends to read over or listen to you read your rough drafts to help make the eulogy stronger.
Consider the personality of your mother. Was she vibrant and energetic? Warm and loving? Think about making the tone of your eulogy match your mother’s personality.
You will probably want to exclude negative things. If you were angry with her when she passed, forgiving her before penning the eulogy can help you focus on positive aspects. Stay away from trivial facts that do not contribute to the main theme of your eulogy, such as her daily habits.
If you tend to be a perfectionist, try to lower your expectations by imagining how you would expect a sibling to do this, or another relative. Treat yourself as you would them (i. e. , have compassion for mistakes).
Think about if your mother ever told you what she wanted to be remembered for, or ask others if she talked to them about this. If she never told anyone what she wished to be remembered for, think about the main theme of her life. What did she spend the most time doing? What did she sacrifice the most for? Is there anyone who is grateful to her for a service she performed? For example, your mother’s favorite sayings or life philosophy, or what she said was her proudest achievement.
Achievements can be both tangible and intangible.
Get ideas from your friends and relatives.
