You may also offer the child a few options on how to address you. Doing this will give the child the power to choose and make his or her own decision. If there are other members of the household, you should introduce them as well or allow each person to introduce themselves. The child should not be expected to call other members of the household “sister” or “brother. ” Instead, use first names.
Include fresh bedding on the bed and keep the walls bare. Tell they child they can decorate the walls how they sees fit and make the room their own. You may include a personal detail based on information you received previously about the child. Maybe the caseworker shared that the child loves a certain sports team or is a big reader. You may then include a poster of the child’s favorite sports team or a stack of books in their room. You may also include a night light for the child, especially if the child is younger. Some foster children have a hard time sleeping in the dark in a new space.
You may also include photographs of each room in the house, including information on what the foster child can and cannot do in each room. You can include a list of the house rules in the book so the child can read them on their own. This can be a good way to set boundaries and rules for the child early.
The empty photograph frames are a good option as they give the child a chance to frame any pictures they may have of their biological family or any close friends. Over time, the child may also decide to put a photograph of you and your family in the frame.
Try to share a meal with the child and the family on the first night. Encourage everyone who lives in the house to come to the dinner or meal. This will help the child to feel comfortable and give them a sense of the routines in the house.
Over time, you can start to teach the child to choose healthier food options. You can also reinforce table manners and etiquette at the table. Do not rush and be patient, as the child may need time to get used to these expectations.
For example, your first rule may be to give everyone in the house privacy and not touch or talk about other people’s bodies in inappropriate ways. You may also have a rule where no one hits or speaks unkindly to anyone in the house. You may say, “In this house, we talk to each other with respect and kindness. We listen and we do not interrupt. ” You may also ask the child for their own set of expectations and rules. If some of their rules do not align with yours, gently explain that in your home, this is how it is done.
Do not hit or spank the child, as this can be triggering for the child. Try to treat the child as you would any other children in your home. Be firm and reinforce consequences for bad behavior, but be reasonable and never be violent with the child.
You may also ask the child if they feel comfortable doing certain house chores. Give the child options and allow them to choose from two to three chores. This will give her or him the ability to decide what they feel most comfortable doing in their new environment.
You may also gently let the child know that they have to attend school and work hard in school to be a member of the household. Most foster children qualify for special benefits and assistance at school, depending on the school and state or area.
Doing this can also allow you to get to know the child better, as they may suggest a surprising and interesting family activity or plan. Get them involved in the decision making in the home so they feels their opinion matters.
As the child’s new guardian, you may also need to reinforce feelings of welcome and comfort toward the child on a daily basis. You are building a relationship with the child over time, so focus on being understanding and considerate of the child’s needs.
Both options allow you to save time by not having to commute every week for the child’s sessions. It also gives you more time to spend with the child and more time for the child to spend with the family. If home based or school based therapy is not an option, you may have to take the child to therapy sessions at a facility or a therapy office. You should make a plan with the child so the therapy day is in their schedule. Try not to miss any of these appointments and bring the child to the sessions on time, as this will show that you are supporting the child’s need for therapy.
