If you are actively angry or upset, take a few deep, calming breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth for several counts each.
Common reasons for ending a love relationship may include different dreams or visions for the future, infidelity, abuse, or trouble communicating.
Although every day won’t be sunshine and flowers, you should still feel like you are better for knowing your partner. If not, leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future. [3] X Research source
Look deep within yourself to analyze the real reasons you want to walk away from love. If you think fear is driving your desire to end the relationship, voice your concerns with your partner. The two of you may be able to overcome these fears by working together. [4] X Research source
Another option is to see a therapist. They can help you work through the pros and cons of leaving your relationship and decide what the right choice is for you. [5] X Research source Whether you initiated the break up or not, it can feel very painful. The emotional weight of the separation can be particularly difficult if you had been together a long time, developed future plans together, or endured infidelity or abuse. Mental health professionals can help you work through any unresolved emotions.
If your children are at risk of being abused or if they often witness you and your partner fighting, it may be better for them if you leave. [6] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Talk it over with a family member, lawyer, or a therapist before making this decision. If you do decide to stay, family therapy may help work out the issues in the relationship and the family.
For example, you may need to get a higher-paying job, take on a second job, or stay with a friend or family member for a short time.
This type of conversation should probably be set in a public place, just in case your partner reacts negatively. In general, you should try to break up in person, unless you feel threatened by your partner in some way. If that’s the case, a letter, email, or phone call may be more appropriate.
For instance, you might say, “I care about you and we have shared many wonderful memories together. But I have decided that it’s best for me to go my separate way. I’ve sacrificed my goals and dreams to maintain the relationship and I realized I don’t want to do that anymore. ”
Resist interrupting or defending yourself or your decision. Also, avoid apologizing, which sends the message that you’ve done something wrong.
This might sound like, “As I said, I feel like I have given up my dreams to keep the relationship going. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’d appreciate it if you would respect my choice. ” Meet with the person in public or break up over the phone if you think they might try to harm you. If your partner threatens you or tries to manipulate you into staying in the relationship, leave the environment right away. Call for help, if you are in danger.
If you don’t trust yourself, ask a friend to box up the items for trash or donation.
Delete their email address as well as unfollowing the person on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and any other networks you use. If you have kids with this person, simply limit your contact to strictly discussing the children. Avoid being pulled back into communicating about the breakup once the decision has been made.
You might ask a dear friend, “Could you hang out with me this weekend? I’m worried I’ll be lonely. ”
Write out a long-term goal that you’d like to reach within the next year or so. Then, create several short-term goals that help you accomplish it. For example, if you aspire to spend six months traveling the world, you might consider short-term goals like finding someone to lease your apartment, taking leave from work or school, and saving money for your travels.
Eat balanced, nutritious meals, get plenty of exercise, and aim for at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Work to keep stress at bay by practicing relaxation exercises like yoga, writing in a journal, or reading a good book.
